One Life can Change a Community

If you love The Lion King, you can’t forget this scene. It’s the moment Simba realizes his father is gone — and in an instant, the illusion of safety collapses. He understands, maybe for the first time, that life will never be the same.

The truth is, we all have a moment like that — a Simba moment. When the guardrails fall, life can feel harsh, disorienting, even unfathomable. Most of us are not ready for such changes in life, but they will come eventually. The issue is not that we don’t recognize that change happens, but we never expect it to happen to us at the time it does. It’s as if we are immune to the shifts in life everyone encounters at some point. Below I explain why moments like these shell shock us and how being unprepared can shift us in ways that change our destiny.

The illusion of stability

For most of us, we wake up every day assuming tomorrow will resemble the day before; that life will hold its shape as it always has. But with every passing day, the odds increase that something will shift dramatically — a loss, a birth, a betrayal, a sudden change. The stability we depended on will eventually disappear, guaranteed.

I call this the continuity paradox. The more stable life appears, the more deeply we believe it will remain that way, even though it never does. Stability creates the illusion of permanence. And paradoxically, the more secure we feel, the less prepared we are when the ground inevitably moves. Let me explain this idea with an image.

Take a look at this image and tell me what you see? If you are like most people (70-80%), you just see a young woman in a white head scarf turned away. But if you look again, you’ll probably notice an old woman with a long nose and downturned face. The classic illusion, “My Wife and My Mother-in-Law,” holds two realities in a single picture. Men often live the same way. We live in this illusion. Convinced that what we see now is all there is, even when another reality is already forming right in front of us. And that’s the real danger. It’s not the illusion, it’s the belief that things will always stay the same. The truth is the opposite. Life is always shifting.

The problem is that when we refuse to recognize this, we become unprepared for the moments when calamity inevitably hits. And when your foundation is shaken due to a shift, it becomes difficult to regain your footing, your clarity, or your sense of direction. And that’s why we must rely on scripture because it’s honest and gives us encouragement when we encounter life’s inevitable shifts.

Change is inevitable

The old adage change is the only constant in life is true. We see it daily as the sun rises on the east and sets on the west. You can fight change, but you will lose. That is because change is woven into the fabric of creation itself. Scripture shows that seasons shift, people grow, nations rise and fall, and God Himself directs every transition.

“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, and day and night shall not cease” (Genesis 8:22)

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1–8).

“He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings” (Daniel 2:21).

Job 14:1–2
“Man… comes forth like a flower and fades away.”

“…even though our outward man is perishing, the inward man is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).

“Behold, I make all things new” (Revelation 21:5).

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth…” (Isaiah 43:19).

As you can see from scripture, change reflects the very mind and intention of our Creator. Jesus Himself is an advocate for change. His entire ministry was a confirmation but also confrontation with the old and an unveiling of the new. His resurrection is the ultimate picture of change. It represents the movement from death to life, from the natural to the eternal, and from the earthly to the divine. And it is only through change that we ourselves can be redeemed. This means that we have to prepare ourselves for change and to change.

Preparing for change.

Jesus is always shifting reality around us. So why, then, are we so afraid of change, and how do we prepare for it?

Change is difficult for most of us because it forces us to alter the patterns we’ve grown accustomed to. These patterns feel predictable, familiar, and safe. Our brains are hard-wired to seek efficiency and rely on mental shortcuts. We can’t use shortcuts when there is a change in direction. Change in many ways feels like an unwanted extra step, something we shouldn’t have to take. Jesus tells us that we are resistant to change:

No one, having drunk old wine, immediately desires new; for he says, ‘The old is better” (Luke 5:39)

To properly deal with change, you must let go of your physical grasp of it and align your spiritual and mental posture with it.
You don’t control change by holding tighter. You manage it by releasing what was never yours to control.

First, you must learn to thank God for change. Not because it feels good, but because the Director has written a beautiful story, and you are a part of it. You cannot go off-script simply because the scene doesn’t match the version of life you imagined. God moves reality forward, not backward, and our role is to trust the direction of His hand.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6).

Second, you must let go of certain outcomes. It might be the job you hoped for, the house, car, or achievement you imagined, or the vision you built for your life. Many times, we still receive those things — but not in the timing or form we expected. When your spirit releases its grip on outcomes, your mind becomes free. Free to adapt. Free to move. Free to respond to change with flexibility rather than fear.

“Trust in the Lord… and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5–6).

“We do not lose heart… for the things that are seen are temporary” (2 Corinthians 4:16–18).

“His compassions fail not. They are new every morning…(Lamentations 3:22–23).

Third, you must avoid complacency. If not, you will stop asking questions and begin slowly relying solely on your own thoughts and desires. Complacency is a silent retreat, not a collapse, but a slow drift toward stagnation. It restricts your capacity to change, even though shifts in life are guaranteed. Jesus described this exact dynamic in the Parable of the Sower: some men hear the truth and respond with excitement, but because they have no root, they endure only for a short time. When pressure or hardship comes, they stumble. Most people interpret this as simply “giving up,”but in many cases, it’s actually the slow erosion caused by complacency. Their faith isn’t destroyed in an instant — it withers from neglect.

That means if you don’t prepare by planting in one season, you can’t reap when the seasons change. Fruit comes from what is sown long before the harvest arrives. And the same is true for men. If you don’t prepare spiritually, mentally, and practically, change will feel like loss rather than direction.

This is why redemption stories like that of Abraham, Job, David, and the Apostle Paul matter. The story of Simba, which is clearly inspired and drawn from these stories offers a similar message. Like, David, he doesn’t return because he felt ready; he returned because the season changed, and destiny demanded a response. His exile taught him comfort, but comfort was not his calling. When the moment came, he didn’t cling to the illusion that life would stay the same. He stepped into a future he did not fully control, but one he was born to live.

Your life will ask the same of you. God will allow seasons to shift — not to punish you, but to position you. Change isn’t the enemy; complacency is. The danger is believing that what you see now is all there is, when God is already forming a new reality right in front of you.

And like all these great men, you will have your moment. A moment when you can no longer live in the illusion that life will continue in the shape you prefer. A moment when you must step out of comfort and return to purpose.

If you ask a woman today, “Where have all the men gone?” she’ll probably shrug and say, “I’ve been wondering the same thing.” A question that was once rhetorical, now feels like a diagnosis of something much larger and less metaphorical. Men haven’t disappeared physically. In fact, they are living longer, have healthier lives and are more economically capable than ever before.

Yet something is clearly missing. Men seem absent in the world, and we are all apparently suffering because of it. But what seems like a crisis of our generation is actually a recurring cycle. If you look back in time, you will realize that this phenomenon isn’t new—we just have a much louder microphone today.

Throughout history men have stood at the center of shaping civilization. Men have built, fought, and led. The facts are actually startling when you begin to examine the outsized role men have historically played in society. This is not to diminish women. It is to affirm the God-ordained calling of men to create, provide, and protect. Here are some statistics to drive this point home.

• Engineering: 82.8% men (BLS 2024)
• Medicine (Doctors): 61.9% men (AAMC 2023)
• Construction: 88.8% men (BLS 2024)
• Manufacturing: 70.7% men (BLS 2024)
• U.S. Presidents: 100% men (historical record)
• Fortune 500 CEOs: ~89% men (2025)
• University Professors (R1 institutions): ~65–67% men (IPEDS/NSF 2023–24)
• Generals & Admirals: ~90–92% men (DOD 2023)
• Religious Leaders: ~86.5% men (National Congregations Study 2018–19)
• Founders of $10M+ Firms: ~97% men (U.S. Census ABS 2022)

Keep in mind that these figures reflect men’s lowest historical share of influence across most domains. These domains represent the building blocks of society. A few decades—or especially a century—ago, men held near-total dominance in virtually all technical, professional, and leadership fields. Yet, somehow, it doesn’t feel that way today. If men still occupy the majority of positions of power, then the question “where have all the men gone?” is not about representation—it is about retreat. Our presence is not felt in the way it used to, and so today, most of us have little conviction about our roles, our beliefs, and our purpose.

What is Man?

The Hebrew word for “man” in Genesis is אָדָם (’adam), which literally means human being or earthling — derived from אֲדָמָה (’adamah), meaning ground or earth. This etymology shows that “man” is first defined not by gender, but by his relationship to creation and to God’s breath of life. For example, the Book of Genesis states:

“Then the Lord God formed man [adam] from the dust of the ground [adamah] and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Genesis 2:7

God also said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness… So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:26–27 

The word itself reveals that man is tied to origin, purpose, and divine likeness, not simply physical form. God chose to reveal HIMSELF in the masculine, and that choice carries profound meaning. It speaks of initiative, responsibility, and creative authority. Man carries the breath of God within him and therefore reflects not only flesh but Spirit. To live as a man, then, is to live conscious of that breath—to embody strength guided by purpose, power tempered by humility, and dominion governed by obedience.

Where many men have faltered is in accepting a purely scientific view of themselves—one that reduces manhood to biology and anatomy. Science defines a man by the XY chromosomal pattern, typically associated with higher testosterone, facial hair, a deeper voice, and distinct reproductive organs. While these traits mark physical difference, they do not define divine purpose. Men are distinct from women not only in design but also in calling. A man cannot give birth; that is a sacred gift entrusted to women alone. His task is different but no less holy—to cultivate, protect, and lead with the strength and grace of the One whose breath he carries.

Our differences neither diminish nor exalt manhood as the world might suggest. Yet somewhere along the way, many men have abandoned that charge. Some feel they were pushed out, but in truth, most simply gave up their position. They walked away from their assignment the moment resistance appeared. Others crossed boundaries they were meant to guard. And worst of all, many have stood by in silence, watching as responsibility slipped slowly through their hands. We have stood by because we have traded manhood for acceptance. In our pursuit to be agreeable, we’ve forgotten how to be accountable. We sought comfort instead of conviction, applause instead of purpose. And in doing so, we surrendered the very thing that once defined us—not our dominance, but our design.

God’s Blueprint for Man

The blueprint for manhood starts with recognizing your role in HIS plan. You have been given dominion over the world. Scripture affirms this design: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; rule over… every living thing” (Genesis 1:28). Adam was placed in the garden to work and keep it (Genesis 2:15). He has been given headship over Women, who themselves have great significance in God’s design. Men like Noah, Moses, David, and Paul were called to carry burdens and change history through action. God’s design for man can be summarized in four responsibilities, or what I call F.O.R.S.: Fruitfulness, Order, Relationship, and Stewardship.

• Fruitfulness-Men should have children if they are blessed to have them and support them. Science reinforces this command. Through sexual reproduction, creation renews itself generation after generation, helping to ensure genetic survival.

• Order– Men should be orderly and have the ability to create structure. One of the first responsibilities God gave man was, in essence, scientific. In Genesis 2:19–20, Adam is instructed to name every living creature an act of observation, discernment, and categorization. He instructed Adam to transform chaos in to order as God did when he created the heavens and earth.
• Relationship-Men must be in relation with those he loves. Relationship begins vertically, in communion with Jesus, and then extends horizontally, through love, faithfulness, and service to others. A man who neglects his relationship with the divine cannot rightly lead those around him.
• Stewardship-Men must be good stewards of Gods grace. Scripture teaches that everything entrusted to us—time, talent, family, and faith—is a gift to be managed, not owned. “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:10).

As a man, you must possess at least three of the four forces to withstand the vicissitudes of life. Order brings clarity and guides your priorities, helping you see what truly matters. From order flows relationship, for a man who lives with structure will tend to form healthier connections with the people and principles that govern his life. Stewardship is essential to sustaining those relationships; love, friendship, and companionship all require consistent care to endure over time. Without order and stewardship, fruitfulness loses its meaning—it becomes self-serving, a pursuit of pleasure or ego rather than purpose. True fruitfulness grows only when discipline, devotion, and responsibility are in balance. If these steps were that easy, all men would move in the right direction. But if you’re observant, you will recognize that is not happening, especially today.

Where Men go Wrong

Men haven’t vanished. Most have simply gone the wrong way. If you’ve ever watched The Godfather, you might recognize the image above — the scene where Michael (the man in the black suit) kisses his brother Fredo (the man in the white suit) to mark his betrayal and seal his tragic fate. It’s a haunting picture of what happens when conviction gives way to compromise. But going the wrong way doesn’t have to be that insidious. In most cases a wrong turn seems benign, but the consequences mirror a similar fate or even worse.

When God’s chosen people, Israel — biblical, not modern — defected from HIS order, the men of Israel became captive to their own desires and ways. They went the wrong direction. They worshiped false gods, practiced unholy rituals, and blended their lives with those who opposed the God of Israel, Jesus. This happened even after they had witnessed HIS power and miracles firsthand.

Most men follow a similar path. They recognize the fruits of the Most High, yet at some point fall short of fulfilling HIS commands and drift the wrong way. It’s not uncommon, so don’t feel alone. But every wrong path eventually leads to a wrong destination. And when men as a collective go in the wrong direction, society suffers. As mentioned earlier, men being absent is a vicious cycle. We saw this nearly three thousand years ago, when the prophet Isaiah warned Judah and Jerusalem about the collapse of their moral and social order. Scripture captures this condition vividly.

“As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12).

This verse laments a breakdown of divine order — a time when male leadership becomes inverted, symbolizing weak men and a disordered society. It’s not a condemnation of women, but a prophetic sign of what happens when men abandon their calling to lead with justice, courage, and faith. It represents the retreat of men and the eventual decay of society. The question “where have all the men gone?” is not hyperbole, but a warning, a cautionary tale of a road that too many are traveling, all because we have simply forgotten our role in society.

Paving a New Road

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them… teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:18–20).

Jesus gave us this command. You are commissioned to bear God’s image, spread HIS Kingdom, and reconcile creation back to its Creator. Although this command is for all, men must lead to bring it into fruition. This calling means living fruitfully, bringing order, nurturing relationships, and stewarding God’s grace with integrity. From this alignment, all good things flow. It may take the form of healing through medicine or technology, teaching through consulting or scholarship, building God’s territory through engineering or manufacturing, or saving lives through ministry and social action. Whatever the work, the purpose remains the same—to restore what was broken and reflect the Creator in all that you do.

The path you build will not be easy, but it is the one you were created to walk.

Many men are waiting—waiting for God or the world to hand them purpose. They imagine that purpose will appear wrapped in the perfect job, a six-figure income, a loyal and beautiful wife, or the simple promise of happiness.

But for most men, that day never comes. The truth is, many will go to their graves still waiting. Not because God didn’t call them, but because they never moved.

It’s one of the hardest questions a man can ask himself: What is my purpose? But maybe that’s the wrong question. Perhaps the question isn’t “What’s my purpose?” but “What’s Gods purpose for me,” and “Why haven’t I started—or What am I waiting on?”

Acknowledging this point is the first step in fulfilling your purpose. But to realize the full potential of what this question truly offers you, we need to ask who should or should not be in search of their purpose?

Who is it for?

Purpose is for all men but the search for purpose is for men who:

Feel stuck, waiting for God or the world to hand them a sign.

Sense a calling, but can’t find a way to move on it.

Want to lead boldly but fear rejection or failure.

Search for sparks of fleeting inspiration.

Know they were made for more than passive observation.

If you read that list and think to yourself, “That’s me,” you’re not alone. You’re the kind of man God designed to fulfill his glory.

Before we discuss the challenges you will encounter while pursuing your purpose, let me explain why it’s the most important pursuit you will ever make but are more than likely to miss.

What is purpose?

The New Oxford Dictionary defines Purpose as the reason something is done or created or for which something exists. The “something” in the definition is the object that is being used to create or to do. That “something” is you and that means you were made for a reason and that is to create and take action. This suggests that purpose is based on the rule of three.

Rule one: Live life with intention

Rule two: Have agency in my purpose

Rule three: Find reason in both (intention and agency)

The first two rules are easy to grasp because they’re self evident, but the last rule centered on “reason” is what trips most men up because they don’t know they have the capacity to be intentional and an agent of purpose. Reason is defined as a capacity to consciously draw valid conclusions with the aim of seeking truth. We have reason because HE is the reason. Every rule we form, every law we live by, flows through HIM. Our ability to reason is a reflection of our creator. Without HIM, our reasoning collapses into everything but purpose. Therefore, to do what God intends you to do, you must seek and find HIS PURPOSE for you.

In 2002, Rick Warren wrote the now Christian cult classic: A Purpose Driven Life. He says purpose all starts with Jesus Christ. To find it means you must find HIM first. It’s in your relationship with the purpose maker where you will find what you have been quietly seeking your whole life. Rick makes this point simple to understand by quoting Colossians 1:16b, which states, “Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.”

With purpose, you begin to see life through God’s lens and understand that you are here to live for HIM—for HIS glory, HIS pleasure, and HIS plans. It’s not easy to grasp because you are not at the center. But that’s the point. Purpose shifts the focus from self to source, and we have stories that bring this truth to light.

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist from Vienna when the Nazis invaded in WW2. They took his home, his family, and his freedom. Inside the concentration camps, he watched men break under despair. Some gave up; others endured. The difference wasn’t strength, it was purpose.

Eventually, he stopped asking what life could give him and started asking what life expected of him. That question carried him through the darkness most can’t fathom.

He was later nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize but never won. Instead, he wrote Man’s Search for Meaning—a book born from the ashes of suffering—that went on to sell over ten million copies and inspire generations to find meaning beyond pain.

His discovery speaks to a truth that echoes Scripture: “you, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you (Isaiah 23:16). Finding purpose gives peace in times of uncertainty and the search for it is worth living for because HE is at the center.

Even though, finding HIM is the most important step in moving toward your purpose, this alone is not sufficient. While it does free you from all the chains that constrain you from your purpose, you must take action. Without taking action, you can’t carry out HIS purpose and therefore can’t fulfill yours.

Purpose is all about action

When David slew Goliath, he didn’t think that was his purpose or the first step toward it. At least scripture doesn’t make that idea demonstrably clear. He wasn’t chasing purpose—he was defending HIS purpose. He simply knew that no one should defy or dishonor the name of his God. He took action when others were paralyzed by fear. Without slaying Goliath, he misses his rise toward kingship, never seduces Bathsheba and never fathers Solomon—who’s lineage leads to the birth of the Messiah.

Action begins with conviction, a stirring of the Spirit or the conscience. It’s when something inside you says, “This isn’t right,” or “This must be done.” David felt conviction before Goliath. Nehemiah felt it when he saw the ruins of Jerusalem. Conviction is God’s whisper that demands movement.

But understanding the importance of purposeful action is not enough, because taking action is often difficult to do. In fact, you must have at least three of five attributes, which I call the 5 Cs of Purposeful Action: Conviction, Clarity, Commitment, Correction, and Continuation. These five attributes spring board purpose. When it comes to purpose:

1. Conviction starts it; 2. Clarity defines it; 3. Commitment sustains it; 4. Correction refines it and; 5. Continuation fulfills it.

Without three of the five Cs, you will give up on your purpose. King Saul is a perfect example. He had everything a man could ask for: position, power, and the calling of God Himself. He started with conviction and clarity, chosen to lead Israel into victory. But conviction without commitment, and clarity without correction, is a slow collapse. Over time, he was moved more by fear than by God’s instructions and it was his lack of continuation toward his faith that marked the beginning of his fall. Don’t be Saul!

Why most men fail to act

Approaching life with HIS purpose in mind requires motion, and motion requires courage. Yet most men today are immobile. They wait for perfect timing, perfect signs, perfect certainty. But purpose never begins with perfection; it begins with conviction.

Men fail to take action because modern life conditions them to be observers, not initiators. We scroll, compare, analyze, and wait for permission that never comes. Social order teaches men to stay within their “circle,” to avoid risk, to pursue what feels safe and familiar. But growth, and Godly purpose, lives outside that circle. You cannot fulfill divine purpose while clinging to familiar comfort. Consider that almost all God’s prophets uprooted themselves from where they grew up. Home represents safety, identity, and what we already understand. Purpose demands leaving your comfort zone.

The man who hesitates at the moment of opportunity lacks two of the three below:
• Conviction—he doesn’t know what he truly stands for.
• Clarity—he can’t see what the next right step is.
• Commitment—he starts but doesn’t stay the course.
• Correction—he refuses to learn from missteps.
• Continuation—he gives up before the seed bears fruit.

So he sits still, watching potential pass by, rationalizing his inaction as patience or prudence. But waiting becomes a habit, and habit becomes identity. Purpose takes a back seat while distractions steer the path.

Purposeful Action is not natural—it’s spiritual. The moment a man acts, he breaks the gravity of fear. God honors movement because movement signals faith. Every step forward is a declaration that you trust the One who orders the path. As you walk in HIS path, HE directs your steps and guides you along the journey.

I have seen it many times in my life even when I was lost. It usually happens when I get a deep desire to act in way that glorifies God. Sometimes it is simply to share his word or to love others in the way he requires. At other times, it’s a complete shift in mindset, thought patterns, or behaviors.

I have not only seen it in myself, but also in others. For example, a friend of mine couldn’t understand how he was able to afford his beautiful home. He knew they couldn’t normally afford that particular home but they got an abnormal deal for a brand new home. It wasn’t until years later that he fully understood why. His home was not only where he taught his children about God, but it was the center of a much needed men’s ministry he had been working on in the background for over a decade. Miracles spring when you take action and walk on faith. Eventually, what seems impossible before becomes routine. It becomes routine because it confirms who HE is and what HE has for you.

How to know if your purpose is God’s purpose

Distinguishing your purpose from God’s purpose isn’t easy. Imagine having goals that feel righteous. They feel right because they reflect good intentions and even Godly deeds. Maybe you volunteer, coach a soccer team, or mentor kids on the weekends. You feel fulfilled. You tell yourself, this must be my purpose. You’re helping children, building community, and honoring God through service.

But purpose isn’t always found in what feels good; it’s revealed in what God has called you to do. Sometimes what we call purpose is just altruism or preference wrapped in productivity. True purpose begins when obedience overrides comfort, when we stop asking what we want to do for God and start asking what God wants to do through us.

One way to know if it’s truly your purpose is to recognize that it will require much of you. It won’t flatter your comfort; it will test your character. Purpose rarely comes dressed in ease—it comes dressed in endurance. It’s the hard road, not the easy one.

Often, God’s purpose isn’t opportunity—it’s costly. Consider every prophet in Scripture. None of them chose the comfortable path.
• Noah built an ark for decades while the world mocked him.
• Moses returned to Egypt, the place of his fear, to confront Pharaoh.
• Jeremiah was thrown into a pit for speaking truth.
• Jonah ran from God because he didn’t want to obey.
• Even Jesus, the Son of God, prayed that the cup might pass from Him.

God’s purpose will stretch your patience, test your faith, and often lead you where you’d rather not go. But that’s how you know it’s from Him. The path HE ordains will always cost you something you wouldn’t willingly give, your pride, your control, your comfort. Yet, on the other side of that cost is transformation.

Conquering through purpose

Every man must face his Goliath. The fear, failure, or comfort that dares to stand between you and the purpose God called you to live. But victory doesn’t come from avoiding the fight; it comes from stepping into it.

You were not created to drift, to wait for permission, or to watch life happen. You were made in the image of a Creator who moves mountains and parts seas. That same Spirit lives in you.

Purpose is the daily choice to act when others hesitate, to trust when others doubt, and to rise when others retreat. Every time you take a faithful step, Heaven takes note.

So walk boldly. And when the road feels steep, remember, it’s part of the process.